Meet B.

My move to a beachy community near Surf City, NC brings many wonderful opportunities, such as photographing families who come to Surf City to vacation.  How excited was I to get a message from my aunt saying she was going to be in my area and asked for a very special session, which included her parents, the loving Ms. B and Mr. J. The family being together at the beach was a perfect time to get some images and I wanted those to be centered around the lovely Ms. B, who has been recently diagnosed with a rare brain disorder called Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP).

PSP is a degenerative condition that affects balance and eye movement and as it progresses affects speech and changes in personality.  At this time there is no cure for PSP but only an attempt to control the symptoms. Really connecting and getting to know more about Ms. B during this session was an upmost goal of mine.

B’s roots are planted deeply in Roanoke, VA where her parents were born and raised.  She was born in 1939 in her family home and grew up in Roanoke where she had an array of animals such as, a dog, several cats, and parakeets.  Her teenage years were full of Elvis, between her love for church hymns and trips to the local drive in diner (think modern day Sonic) with her sister.  This is where she met Mr. J, her husband.

One evening after enjoying some refreshments, their car would not start.  The sisters recognized two friends of a mutual friend a few cars over.  The girls sent a note to the young men via a carhop and the two gentlemen came over with jumper cables in hand.  They got their car started and being the fine men they were, they followed the girls home to make sure the car did not stall again… and the rest was history in the making.

Ms. B and Mr. J were married in Aug of 1964 at the Evangelical Foursquare Church and will soon be celebrating 50 years of marriage!!!!

Take a look into what those jumper cables sparked 50 years ago. A handful of lovely children, beautiful grandchildren, never ending smiles and love.

Meet B and her family.

Mommy Tidbits | Sneads Ferry, NC Maternity Photographer

For those that missed my UPDATE post, I’ve since moved to a little town called Sneads Ferry, about 20 minutes outside of Jacksonville, NC…. in other words, we were stationed at Camp Lejeune, NC.  I am not currently taking clients but will be shooting to build my portfolio and skill.  I am also going to work on blogging and getting into showing emotion via text with the aide of photos.

With that being said, the area in which I live, I would consider it to be a rural community.  There is basically one stop light, a food lion, and a CVS surrounded by mom and pop type restaurants and businesses.  I find it perfect.  I do live in a neighborhood community, that supports a natural wooded feel.  In fact, I have woods right next to my house!  Since I’ve lived here I’ve had the pleasure of observing countless bugs, such as spiders, wasps, beatles, palmetto, and lightening bugs.  We experienced a wild box turtle, fed him strawberries and watched him wonder back to his home.  I’ve even seen a real life not in a cage snake!  eeeeeeek!  Between all of that, I’m trying to push myself in my current neighborhood.  To find and explore little places to shoot, where I could walk to/from the session from my home.

I put a casting call on a local yard sale page, where I was messaged by a sweet young mama to be.  She really rolled with my spontaneous desire to shoot that night and what I captured I hope that she enjoys and looks back on with a pleasant smile.  I asked this mama to be a few little tidbit questions so you can get to know her a little better.  Keep these in  mind when viewing her photos.  You can really use the answers along with the images to get a feel of who she is as a person.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I was not named after anyone in particular.

2. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
My favorite lunch meat is definitely ham!

3. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I would absolutely bungee jump but only strapped to a professional!

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
My favorite cereal would have to be lucky charms. They never get boring.

5. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
If I were a crayon, I’d be Caribbean Green from the 120 pack.

6. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
Mountain hideaway any day.

7. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Critique it!
The last movie I watched was Frozen. I’m happy to see Disney changing the norm and having a female character being the heroine and not the typical ‘saved by a man’ stereotype.

8. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter

9. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
I’m not currently reading any books.

10. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
My car is burnt orange.

 

I will be exploring a lot in the coming weeks around my area/neighborhood. Please make sure you are a fan of my Facebook page CrystalBelle Photography to get updates on what type of model call I will be looking for in the near future.  All model calls answered will receive digital files and low res watermarked images.  (Unless otherwise noted, subject to change at anytime.)

 

…and then we were here…

It has been awhile since I’ve last blogged.  Truth is getting ready to speak here.  I closed my photography business when we got our hard copy orders to  move out of beautiful Pensacola.  Here comes the truth part.  My heart was just not in it any more.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved everything about  photography.  I love watching my images appear in LightRoom for the first time from my camera.  I love seeing all the smiles and joys of families seeing their images for the first time when I did in person proofing.  It was amazing.  It was my dream, and it was coming to life.  I was shooting out of a glorious studio share in the downtown area, doing in person proofing and ordering, actually throwing a profit here and there, but still, my heart was gone.  Another truth.  This business is way more cut-throat then you can imagine.  I am talking about people being just straight out rude, ruthless even.  Yes, I have found some amazing life long friends who are also photographers, but I’m the kind of person, who through all the good and positive lets one small negative knock me down.  I threw in the towel.  I gave up.  Can you imagine?  Giving up on something you really like doing, no love doing?  Just because someone “better” then you made a rude comment not even meaning to upset you, or to hurt your feelings, but it did.  I am sad to write this.  Even as these words pour out of my heart, my head screams, don’t say that, you know you will start shooting again soon.  Just give it time to heal.  This maybe true.  I may heal from the bump, but right now I can not imagine dealing with this ever again.

What a perfect time to close up shop and work on my style and sense of self esteem.  I need to believe I am worth something and not get frustrated that no one is booking.  Understand that I am not going to work for pennies, and realize that is ok.  When others appear booked and successful learn how to be happy for them instead of feeling jealous and snide.  It is a horrible feeling.  Emotions such as jealously are not easily processed under my kind and caring soul.  Such emotions swallow me up and consume me, make me bitter and angry.  It is ugly.  Until I can learn to be supportive, I will not shoot for business.  Until I can allow myself to be happy about whatever happens in my life, I will not shoot for business.  I will take this time and learn to write, learn to pose, learn to process.  Learn to be me.  I’ve a lot to say, but I am of few words.  Letting those words out, explode within my head and onto a blog, in written form over photos, it won’t happen.  I will always need imagery to translate what I’m feeling.

Realizing that it is going to take more then a streaming “free” class online to get my mojo back.  Understanding that I can listen to how much I’m worth until the cows come home, until I believe it, I might as well be listening to Justin Bieber lyrics on repeat….  eeeeeek!  There is no template I can buy, there is no editing webinar I can watch, there is no gear I can upgrade, that is going to make my business, or lack thereof, any better, if my soul and love for that part is missing.  I can’t buy motivation or self esteem anymore then you can buy a magic pill for skinny.  It has to come from within.  There has to be a want, a desire, a drive and most importantly an understanding that in order to get positive results you have to surround yourself with positive events and people.  I am going to have to realize I am a positive person, the feelings of jealousy and want are ok, but how I deal with them and process them in my heart is what makes or breaks my drive to run a business.

So, if you’ve read this far, what this means for CrystalBelle Photography is that I am NOT shooting for business.  I am shooting for pleasure.  This means I am being very very selective in what I shoot when I shoot and whom I work with.  I won’t be talked into family photos if I have a desire to shoot a maternity session.  And I will learn saying no is ok.  SAYING NO IS OK!

It also means accepting that my website is now hosted on a free wordpress template.  Again there is no magical template I can buy that will make my business successful.  Over time and with more positive feelings the desire to upgrade for better hosting and layouts will come back, I hope, but right now, if you can’t accept my free wordpress theme, then so what.  Your loss.  I have to look at whats best for myself, not because I’m trying to be selfish or rude, but because I’m trying to find the happy place in my heart and how that relates to photography.  Accepting that my images are what they are.  Not bad, but not OMG amazing.  Having that be ok.  Distancing myself from contests and weekly challenges, where I was in it for the wrong reasons.  Realigning my vision to enjoy others art, instead of looking at it and comparing it to mine.  I’ll get there.  I do need your help.

Over the coming weeks I will try to shoot at least one non family member session a week.  One a week.  My choice, it maybe maternity, family, newborn, who knows, maybe a pet or two.  But it will be from the heart and I will enjoy doing so, instead of being forced into what I think someone else wants to see, if that comes across as selfish or rude I apologize.  I am not a selfish person, but in order for me to find peace within myself I need to take this time for me.

So in short I leave you with this.  I shoot to remain active in photography.  I will write from the heart, no censorship or concern about what I think people want to read…  I hope to grow the rest of this year, to come back into my business strong and confident.  We will see what happens….. Life is a journey.